New beginnings, like heading back to school in a new classroom with new friends, can be exciting for some kids. However, like all new beginnings, a new school year can also bring up tough emotions for kids who are grieving. Starting a new chapter can sometimes be another reminder of the person who isn’t there to share it with them, and the resulting feelings and behaviors can make learning difficult.
Adults are often better equipped to handle these heightened feelings of grief, but kids haven’t always developed these coping skills — think of it like a muscle they need to flex and develop. If they haven’t learned or practiced these skills, they may not be able to:
- Understand their feelings stemming from their grief
- Cope with it positively
- Communicate with adults in their life about their grief
This experience is more common than most realize — new research from Judi’s House (a nonprofit specializing in supporting grieving children and their families) shows that one in 10 kids in Georgia has experienced the death of a parent, sibling or primary caregiver. That’s two or three kids per classroom and does not include kids grieving the loss of other family members or close friends.
Despite how common grief is, studies from the New York Life Foundation found that only 7% of teachers have received any amount of bereavement training, and 92% of teachers would like to do more to support grieving students.
As the leader of Kate’s Club, a Georgia-based bereavement organization, I’ve learned that grief has the single strongest impact on school outcomes. That’s why I believe it’s important that, as a community, we work together to ensure grieving children can do their best as they head back to school.
Credit: Contributed.
Credit: Contributed.
When a student experiences a death, we think of that moment like they are approaching a highway exit. If they are not empowered to cope positively with their grief — or if it is not addressed at all — then they will take the ramp away from overall lifelong well-being.
Unaddressed grief can lead to mental health challenges like substance use disorder, suicide risk and more. We also know that up to 90% of youth in the juvenile justice system are bereaved.
On the other hand, if a student copes positively with their grief, they can learn self-awareness and emotional intelligence. They can become resilient in all mental health challenges they face later in life.
Other than individual therapy, there are very few resources for kids and teens who are grieving. Therapy is invaluable, but our internal research indicates more than 90% of young people facing grief benefit from peer and group-based, therapeutic programs.
There are very few programs like this in Georgia, and we know that time and distance can bar some kids and families from the support they need. That’s why we have to meet kids where they are: at school.
Research indicates that school-based support groups for bereaved youth are effective in reducing anxiety and depression symptoms, as well as enhancing their perceived self-concept. We offer six-to-10 week grief groups on campus and during the school day, ensuring accessibility does not hold back grieving kids from the bereavement support they need to be successful.
These groups show kids that they are not alone in their grief; the person they sit next to in class might be grieving too. They also learn coping skills through art, discussion and other group activities. Our research shows that 98% of students who participated in a school grief group found it helpful and would recommend it to another student.
“I found that talking about my grief was helpful because I could let it out and not keep it inside me,” said a school grief group participant.
Moreover, the students’ caregivers reported improved communication and coping, emotional openness and social skills. They also noted that their students’ grades and focus improved, and that they had a renewed interest in learning.
“I saw a huge difference because he was having some situations where he was acting out because he was unable to express his emotions,” said the caregiver of one school grief group participant. “He can now say exactly how he’s feeling and his feelings are less extreme.”
That’s the value of providing bereavement support in our schools, and why Kate’s Club is committed to working in all of Georgia’s 159 counties. We need to empower kids and teens to take that on-ramp to lifelong well-being and ultimately create a world in which it’s OK to grieve.
After starting her career as a consultant with Bain & Company, Lisa Aman became executive director of Kate’s Club in March 2021, driven by the loss of her brother when she was 3.
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