6 things you’re doing at your Valentine’s Day reservation chefs secretly hate

And while the holiday is challenging, many restaurants add special touches to their service, going the extra mile to make the experience memorable. Sometimes it’s a one-off cocktail or a prix fixe menu. At Twisted Soul, chef Deborah VanTrece said her team is offering a “flower buffet” at the restaurant’s long central table. With a complimentary glass of sparkling wine in hand, guests will be able to assemble their own bouquet as part of their experience.

The unique, special moments created by these restaurants can eat into their profit margins, making it all the more important that service runs as smoothly as possible.

Diners have more control over their restaurant experience than they may realize. Their attitude, agreeability and etiquette affect how much they’re likely to enjoy themselves. Those who understand the stresses on a restaurant at a busy time like Valentine’s Day are likely to be better customers and, in turn, ensure they have the best experience possible.

Several chefs told the AJC what behaviors diners should avoid if they want to help out the restaurants where they choose to celebrate their special occasion.

Showing up late

Punctuality was the first thing mentioned by each chef who spoke to the AJC. When a restaurant has a full slate of reservations and every table is booked all night, one late party can have a cascading effect, according to Ian Winslade, chef and partner at Mission + Market in Buckhead.

Winslade said that, at his restaurant, they budget roughly an hour and 45 minutes per reservation, giving themselves about 15 minutes of buffer between parties. Someone who shows up 15 minutes late, especially early in the night, can throw off the whole service.

Even worse, VanTrece said, are people who take advantage of courtesies like no-fee reservations. Some diners will book reservations at multiple restaurants at the same time, saving their dining decision for the last minute and skipping out on the rest, she said. But restaurants schedule staff and buy and prep food based on the number of reservations on the books, so a skipped reservation isn’t much different from lighting a restaurant’s money on fire. For that reason, she said most restaurant owners appreciate when customers cancel their planned reservation if they aren’t able to show up.

Overstaying your welcome

While showing up late is an issue, it can be just as harmful for diners to linger at a table — especially if they’ve finished ordering. If the restaurant hasn’t closed, there are likely customers waiting for your table.

Diners who are enjoying the atmosphere of the restaurant and might want to stay a little longer could move to the bar for a nightcap, Winslade suggested. But it’s best to move along once your meal is finished, and, in most restaurants, that time frame is about two hours.

Not sharing special requests in advance

Thanks to modern computer systems and online reservations, restaurant customers can give enough upfront information that they’re treated like a regular when they arrive.

Both Winslade and VanTrece told the AJC that restaurant workers appreciate the notes they get with each reservation; it’s worth the diner’s time to answer the questions about dietary restrictions and preferences. Likewise, it’s important to share any special requests in advance.

Good restaurants are eager to accommodate their customers, VanTrece said. Anyone planning a grand gesture like a proposal should let the restaurant know ahead of time. Such special moments are exciting for the restaurant workers, too, and they’re likely to assist in any way they can.

Knowing nothing about the restaurant

It’s helpful for the restaurant to know about the diner ahead of time, but it can be just as important for the diner to understand what they’re getting themselves into. Checking the restaurant’s website or social media pages ahead of time can help set expectations about the experience. No one benefits when a diner is blindsided by a prix fixe menu or a “no substitutions” policy.

Lacking patience

Knowing that Valentine’s Day is especially busy for restaurants and being patient with staff goes a long way toward navigating any hiccups in service. The biggest variable any restaurant contends with on a given night is the behavior of their own customers. A good restaurant that runs like a well-oiled machine can be disrupted by one bad table, with ripple effects that can throw off the entire timetable of the night. Diners who experience delays or slow service at a restaurant that seems otherwise competently run are more likely to be correct if they blame other customers rather than the staff.

Being stingy

There’s another simple way to get on the good side of any restaurant: splurge.

“Preorder the prix fixe menu for both people, and expensive Champagne,” DiSpirito suggested.

If there is a time to invest in a special experience, it’s a holiday like Valentine’s Day — when whatever restaurant you visit is likely to be humming and staffed with its A-team. And don’t forget to budget for a generous tip.

Anyone working in a restaurant on Valentine’s Day goes into their shift understanding that they face a herculean task. Yes, it’s their job, but it’s also an intense and stressful day of serving others.

Winslade, in particular, must set his own interests aside on Feb. 14.

“I’ll tell you something daft,” the English-born chef said. “It’s my birthday.”

“I feel like I work the hardest day of the year, every year, on my birthday,” Winslade continued with a laugh.

Those lucky enough to score a Valentine’s Day reservation at Mission + Market can raise a birthday toast toward the chef in the open kitchen. Like all relationships, the connection between restaurants and diners is best when based in mutual respect.